All I Have

Each and everyone of you have been in my heart over these past couple weeks of this new reality of living we all find ourselves in. The first week personally I spent much of it divided into what felt like thirds. The realities of the past, the new and the unknown. As I found myself split waves of grief regarding the past resulted in uncontrollable tears alongside pure moments of present joy. This week instead of feeling like a pendulum swinging between realities or a rollercoaster moving rapidly up and down I find myself feeling like I’m on a boat. A boat that feels large enough to where I do not feel alone and thats moving at a more manageable pace.

There is truth to there being multiple realities at any given time. What that can feel like for most of us is uncertainty. During which taking inventory of what you have and making clear of what is absolutely necessary is key to providing stability. Fear and scarcity feed on uncertainty which can make it feel impossible to believe that what we have is enough. Thus swinging up and down through feelings of hope and despair become a regular occurrence during times such as these. Knowing that we are all on this boat together and believing that what we have is already everything we need is the practice. Its the practice of living in abundance. Living in a world such as ours where the constructs that have been created for us can limit our ability to access what is rightfully ours hearing those words can feel quiet loaded wherever your station in life may be. To deconstruct our past, present and future realities requires faith in this abundance. To straddle the emotions that come up for us all requires love. 

Transformation asks of us to see the joy in what we are now creating wth what we have readily at hand. This is the gift of abundance. Its telling us all the time that we have a plentiful supply of everything we need at our disposal. Yet we believe we cannot access it and/or much of society causes us to have it less readily available when there truly is enough to go around. For me personally I struggle with sharing these messages. As someone who is fortunate with privileges that my race and class afford me. It feels as if I am not the correct messenger to remind people of abundance and yet here I am. The truth is in many ways societal structures have given me so much more than others. It is an ongoing process to no longer only feel shame for that and to lean more heavily on being a messenger of love and truth.

Whether its societal or familial structures of conditioning that provide and/or limit us for a myriad of reasons we are all worthy of the gifts of abundance. It takes dismantling internal and external structures along with the knowledge and awareness that we are all worthy of the plentiful gifts the universe has available to us. Regardless of our station these messages are important. Working towards any transformation requires of us and asks us to see the grief and the joy in what we are now creating. The light and the dark. The good and the bad. 

How we create a world for us to be not only given the gifts but the access to and the feeling of abundance, love and worthiness to these gifts has been a defining question for humanity since the dawn of time. How can we use this time to reflect upon ourselves and the world we live in? Whether its staring at the ceiling, creating a happy home life, taking more walks, writing that book, sleeping more, finally setting healthy boundaries, learning sign language, learning the art of doing nothing or whatever this time has afforded you with know it is ALL right. All of it. 

And if you are still reading this. Thank you! You are on this boat with me and I am deeply grateful for you.